Get your kicks... quietly

By Kate Welsh
February 07, 2018
Illustration by Lauren Kolm

If you've been out to weekend brunch recently, it's likely you have seen someone wearing brunch-themed clothing and accessories. Do you know what I'm talking about? There are tank tops and sweatshirts and phone cases embellished with phrases like "Bloody mary or mimosa?" written in swirly cursive, or "Brunch so hard!" in aggressive block lettering, or even that ubiquitous "But first coffee" phrase in all caps. I don't want to yuck someone else's yum (as the great Kat Kinsman says) but it does feel kind of like the meal version of wearing a band's t-shirt to their concert: a little too on the nose. 

However, I understand the impulse to metaphorically shout about what you love from the rooftops. I have a really great shirt with lemons on it, for example. And goodness knows I love lemons. However, I don't think that's what I'd don if I were invited to a lemon orchard. (That said, please invite me to a lemon orchard and make my dreams come true.) But I just feel like there are subtler ways to express what you're into—that is, to wear your heart literally on your sleeves—that work for situations beyond the one their screen printed phrase explicitly names. 

And this, my friends, is where a pair of classic Vans low-top skate shoes come into play. Scattered on the black canvas background are fried eggs with, as they call it, "Sassy Side Up" faces on them. Vans' interpretation of "sassy" means that the fried eggs don't look unlike Sophia Loren—red lipstick, heavy lashes, beauty mark placed just so. 

These are sneakers with the attitude of "Brunch So Hard," the playfulness of "Sunglasses and Mimosas," and the utilitarianism of "But First Coffee." But neither you nor your shirt needs to say a word. 

Vans Unisex Skate Shoe, prices start at $46.29,