FDA Rejects 'Love' as Granola Ingredient
Sorry, it can't be made with love
The bible says love is patient and kind. Pat Benatar told us it was a battlefield. But all the heartless souls at the FDA know is that “love” is not a real ingredient in Nashoba Brook Bakery granola.
That’s right: A Concord, Massachusetts, bakery was issued a cold reprimand from federal bureaucrats for listing “love” alongside the other ingredients in their granola. While the company claims that it’s symbolic of the fact that their bakers pour their heart and soul into preparing the rolled oats-based breakfast item, the FDA made it clear it has no patience for such shenanigans.
In a letter that reads like it was written by a robot in the first act of a movie in which said robot eventually comes to understand human emotions, the regulatory body said “Your Nashoba Granola label lists ingredient "Love"... [which] is not a common or usual name of an ingredient, and is considered to be intervening material.”
Naturally, Nashoba CEO was dismayed by the soulless example of unnecessary government overreach. “I really like that we list ‘love’ in the granola,” he said. “Situations like that where the government is telling you you can’t list ‘love’ as an ingredient, because it might be deceptive, just feels so silly.”
It’s worth noting that listing a vague emotional concept as an ingredient wasn’t the only thing the FDA called out in its report, however. Inspectors also observed unsanitary conditions like flour buildup, and other mislabeled products. Still, the FDA had to issue a statement saying that the “love” label was “not among the agency’s top concerns.”
It’s not clear what will happen to the happy, love-filled granola that’s currently being sold in 120 Massachusetts and New Hampshire stores, but Gates says he’ll address the FDA’s complaints. In the meantime, he and his 75-employee business can at least enjoy the free publicity. Just more proof that love always wins.