No word on whether or not you can use their pizza tracker to monitor your pregnancy

By Tim Nelson
February 07, 2018
illustration by lauren kolm

Welcoming a child into the world is daunting. The sleepless nights and the range of expenditures can take a toll on new parents. Thankfully, one new baby registry is here to help, and it makes use of one thing that we already know solves everything: pizza. 

That’s right. Aptly arriving nine months after the launch of their wedding registry, expectant moms and dads can now register at Domino’s for all their baby needs. Conceived (sorry) in partnership with baby registry company Gugu Guru, it’s an effort to break away from traditional registry in favor of what parents really want. “While new parents are focusing on their tiny special delivery, Domino’s will focus on delivering great pizza for dinner, or lunch, or late-night feedings,” said Jenny Fouracre, director of the pizza chain’s PR. 

Naturally, the registry will include special edition pizza packages tailored to the unique scenarios of pregnancy and parenthood. There’s “Sleeping Through The Night,” which presumably includes enough pizza to induce a food coma, “Dad’s Babysitting — AKA Mom’s Night Out” and “Hormonal and Hangry,” which likely comes with an odd assortment of judgment-free toppings and cheesy bread. 

For those worried that a toothless infant would have to miss out on the bounteous blessings of the registry, fear not. Prospective parents can add for plenty of “essentials for your developing pizza lover,” like pizza-themed onesies, pepperoni moccasins, and other cheesy apparel to their wish list. And for those wishing to turn their baby shower into a pizza party, the registry includes supplies like pizza wrapping paper, invitations, and a “diaper pizza,” which, mercifully, is not intended to be edible.

It might seem like a ridiculous concept. But pregnancy and parenthood are challenging enough, and you’re going to want to (stress) eat a lot of pizza anyway. The least you can do is try and trick your friends and family into paying for it.