Man Goes to Paris Once, Finds the Best Mustard in the World
Let me tell you about my love for Amora
For years, I would use my lack of travel experience as an icebreaker at parties.
“I’ve actually never been to Europe,” I’d say. “Can you believe that?”
Each time, the comment would be met by incredulous stares and gasps.
“Not even England?!” they’d say in disbelief.
Traveling is such a ridiculous right of passage these days. Everyone takes to Instagram to post photos of their salt-thickened hair and tanned buttocks in places like Mykonos as a not-so-subtle attempt to dishearten their fellow man. Guess what: Some of us have to work desk jobs and don't have tanned buttocks.
Anyway, all that changed for me last month when my wife and I decided to take a European vacation to celebrate our one-year anniversary. Dublin, Belfast, Paris, and London in one week. I would officially be a guy who had European stamps in his passport. I could go on and write wistfully about all we saw and experienced in these beautiful countries: the people, the culture, the art, blah blah blah. But no, I’m here to talk about the mustard. Not just any mustard, but the greatest mustard on earth.
It’s called Amora Dijon Mustard and it's considered to be Europe's quintessential French mustard. And ladies and gentlemen, it's is the only mustard you should have in your fridge. Like many culinary "discoveries" aka Columbusing, I came upon Amora mustard by complete chance while dining at one of those little cafes in Montmartre you picture when you think of eating out in Paris. I ordered chicken, my wife got a burger, and we shared fries. On the table was a little tray of mustard. I took one dunk—one dunk—with my French fry and oh mama I was shook.
I’m told you will never find a French kitchen without a jar of Amora, and I now understand why. It is an exquisite, powerful mustard with a heat you instantly feel in your nose. It spreads across the tongue like fire and makes you feel alive. Amora pummels the competition—like Grey Poupon—right in the yellow balls.
After carefully wrapping a jar in an old t-shirt for its journey back to New York, I am proud to say my fridge now has a bottle of Amora. Believe me, I’ve used it for everything and I’ve found there is nothing it doesn’t improve. It’s perfect on sausages and roast beef sandwiches. It's amazing as a salad dressing and the only condiment you need with fries.
You may have a hard time finding Amora in the US, but that’s why the internet was invented. Buy a 10-pack on Amazon and give some to your friends. Sell it illegally to people on the street—I won't tell, I'm not a cop. Buy it now, douse your food with it, and think of me every time you cry out in mustard-induced ecstacy.